it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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