It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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