If that was your dad, he is hot
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize