carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
