you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Two words: blizzard sex
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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