were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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