careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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