she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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