Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
