I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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