gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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