It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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