there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how can u be prego again
420 ftw
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
