...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
