doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
