tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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