did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
