I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
