brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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