listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
