didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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