Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
