Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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