he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
