Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
