he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
