He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
