Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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