I look better un-naked...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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