it was like eating out sand paper
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
