Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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