omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
