i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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