You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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