You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
