Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
