you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
