I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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