why do cheetos always look like penises
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize