i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
