Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
