if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
