Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
