I seem to have left my pride at pride
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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