Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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