So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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