I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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