Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
