the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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