the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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