The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
