Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
