i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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