The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
