God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's official drugs can't kill me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
