a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
