I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
