I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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