My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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