just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
