OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
