I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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