I smell stomach acid.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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