she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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