He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize