Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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