he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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