I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
