gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize