I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
