I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize