You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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