we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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