I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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