Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
